I could cheese smile my way out of most everything when I was little.  I looked innocent.  Except for the devil horn calics at the front of my hairline.  My first grade picture was awesome.  Right after recess. 

It looked like this:
Devil horn calic bangs.
Big grownup tooth surrounded by tiny white minnions.
Disproportionate dark freckles.
My blue eyes DID match my light blue shirt.
It even matched the silky blue piping that ran from shoulder to shoulder.

Clearly, you can see why I had so many boyfriends in first grade.  Either that or they weren't sure whether they should like me or fear me.  I should ask Brendan about that.

I was pretty sure that the invention of clear glue was for my benefit.  It was like a mini lava lamp with that mesmerizing bubble in there.  And also it was handy when you needed to spread it all over the toilet seats in the bathrooms.  Because that is like the funniest thing ever.

To the untrained eye, brown paper towels in the bathroom were strickly for drying hands.  Not so for this little chicky.  Because those things stuck to the ceiling like magnets.  Dripping magnets.  And when you took the little filter off of the sink faucets and stuck that stuff up there you could stand back and watch science in action.  Water Pressure.

There were many uses for brown paper towels.  Like shoving it down the hole of the drinking fountain with a pencil.  Again, water pressure.  It's a beautiful thing.  But I think figuring out that paper,crumpled into the female end of a school door allowing after school access, was one of my better revelations.

These people had no idea who they were dealing with.  And I'm giving the G rated version of my antics since my children will read this.  Don't even ask, Madelyn, I'm not telling.

But I am sure of one thing.  The term, "She's a character" was used frequently.  And I'm thinking this might have something to do with the way I write.  The way I read.  The way I think.  Character oriented.

Thank you Spruce Elementary for NOT suspending me indefinitely.