Say hello to Peanut.Mine and yours? Or just yours? Or just mine?
This years Christmas Tree will go down in family infamy. The tree that had it's fake life flash before it's eyes. (..................................) That's life when you're fake. But it must've been scary fake. (,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,) You can clearly see the difference.
Nathan kicked over a hot light, and poof, a section of my carpet looks like the bottom of my oven. I know it could've been worse. So I can't complain. Instead, I did what any woman would do. Cover it with a rug. That's what they're made for, right?
But all of this commotion got me thinking about our Christmas Tree. We don't always use the fake one. I'm sorry, should I call it faux? Do you think the tree cares? Does it take away from Christmas, calling it's greatest symbol fake? Too bad. It's fake. Fake. Fake. Fake. You're nothing tree, you're not even there. You. Are. Fake.
Can you tell I prefer a freshly murdered tree?
Okay, so I'm watching my children put the ornaments on, wherever they want to. Instead of a tree freckled with ornaments, it looks like it has splotchy hives. I didn't know you could fit 6 ornaments on one branch. Genius children.
And I'm wondering... should I have a separate tree? One for me, and one for the kids? One that looks like the kind you see in a Christmas Tree Parade? Although, come on people, if the trees aren't throwing candy, how can you really call it a parade? Seriously.
My mom did it, my mother in law has done it.(The two tree thing.) I could just tell the children we need to have symmetry, and have the tree presentable for people who will be dropping by Christmas Treats. (Hi people who bring us treats. I'm an Almond Rocha fan. Just so you know.) But here's the thing. I probably shouldn't worry about the presentation of a tree until my children stop going to school looking like they're homeless and motherless.
I like to let them choose. Sometimes their outfits are so egregious that there must be parental interference before their teacher calls CPS. I kind of feel that way about the tree. It's theirs. I'm old now. Christmas isn't for me anymore. (Stupid growing up.)
And if a splotchy hive tree makes them happy, so be it.
Plus. If I had two trees, I'm sure the kids would think they needed twice the presents.
So. One for you and one for the kids? Or just for you? Or just for the kids?
Nathan kicked over a hot light, and poof, a section of my carpet looks like the bottom of my oven. I know it could've been worse. So I can't complain. Instead, I did what any woman would do. Cover it with a rug. That's what they're made for, right?
But all of this commotion got me thinking about our Christmas Tree. We don't always use the fake one. I'm sorry, should I call it faux? Do you think the tree cares? Does it take away from Christmas, calling it's greatest symbol fake? Too bad. It's fake. Fake. Fake. Fake. You're nothing tree, you're not even there. You. Are. Fake.
Can you tell I prefer a freshly murdered tree?
Okay, so I'm watching my children put the ornaments on, wherever they want to. Instead of a tree freckled with ornaments, it looks like it has splotchy hives. I didn't know you could fit 6 ornaments on one branch. Genius children.
And I'm wondering... should I have a separate tree? One for me, and one for the kids? One that looks like the kind you see in a Christmas Tree Parade? Although, come on people, if the trees aren't throwing candy, how can you really call it a parade? Seriously.
My mom did it, my mother in law has done it.(The two tree thing.) I could just tell the children we need to have symmetry, and have the tree presentable for people who will be dropping by Christmas Treats. (Hi people who bring us treats. I'm an Almond Rocha fan. Just so you know.) But here's the thing. I probably shouldn't worry about the presentation of a tree until my children stop going to school looking like they're homeless and motherless.
I like to let them choose. Sometimes their outfits are so egregious that there must be parental interference before their teacher calls CPS. I kind of feel that way about the tree. It's theirs. I'm old now. Christmas isn't for me anymore. (Stupid growing up.)
And if a splotchy hive tree makes them happy, so be it.
Plus. If I had two trees, I'm sure the kids would think they needed twice the presents.
So. One for you and one for the kids? Or just for you? Or just for the kids?
Posted by Lucinda Ann Felix at 12/3/2009 12:20 PM 
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: Egregious stuff Christmas Trees Kids who light your house on fire Fakeness
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: Egregious stuff Christmas Trees Kids who light your house on fire Fakeness
Hey Lu!! Love your writing, it makes me laughs out loud. I can so relate, and totally agree with you hear, that is what I am struggling with this year. Last year a did a little tree that was all my own in the front visiting teaching room of my house. But this year I have a toddler again and I'm not feeling too crafty, so I am debating weather the little tree will be worth it, since the baby will probably pull it over on his head. But my 'family tree' looks like it has hives too, it must be going around. Love you!!
Reply to this
I love it! Nicely put
Reply to this
Two trees. One The Boy keeps in his room and decorates by himself. The other, we keep in the living room that The Boy decorates by himself...that I redecorate when he's not looking. Sorry. It's the Architect thing. I can't tolerate the uneven look of a nine year-old's ornament layout.
Reply to this
Yeah, this made me laugh. And the title is just brill!
Reply to this
I'm a one tree girl, simply because I don't want to chase more ornaments from more trees! Every year I keep thinking, "Next year they'll leave the ornaments on the tree" and every year I'm wrong!
Reply to this
I'm defiantly a two tree gal. We keep one in our family room and one in the sun room year round. But we decorate it different each month. More of a glee tree than a Christmas tree. An old Cuban tradition.
Reply to this